How do you get over it?

[martelvonc]

fabricdragon has been sharing her travels on the path of working towards a cleaner home and this made me think about my own path.

When I finally have an unusual clear spot that has not been that way in recent memory, I've found something odd. The sight of the "less" makes me happy but then later I start to feel anxiety about it for no discernible reason.

Is it because I'm afraid I've now given away what I might need someday?
Is it guilt for having acquired things that were not the best choice for our needs?

I don't know how to reconcile the feeling. I should be relieved especially after a trip to a thrift shop to drop off a donation. I would never just throw these things away. I will do almost anything to donate or outright give it away for free. The stuff is a burden on my mind, sitting by the front door, until I get it out of the house.

On television and in the magazines, you see clean, clear, clutter free homes. I want that for myself and my family but when I achieve it, it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like I know it won't stay that way so why did I bother? Is this self-defeating behavior? I haven't been cluttering up again. It's staying clean but why the guilty feeling about having a clean area?

The family is happy with the changes. I should be too, right?

Comments

[albreda.livejournal.com]

You should cross post this to the Partners in Clean list - I bet others would have some feedback for you too.

I can tell you my thoughts on my problem with this though - rooms that are too clean and ordered a) look impersonal, and b) evoke all of those 'company coming' feelings and anxieties from my youth. When cleaning the house has *always* been a stressful time right before one is held captive by guests in one's home (that one's parents invited), then a clean house can easily trigger anxiety. I first noticed my problem with this when I started travelling without my parents as an adult; I can't spend five minutes in a pristine hotel room without putting my towel by the sink, turning down the bed, and getting my books and blanket unpacked on the sofa! If a space is too tidy, I can't relax in it!